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41 A few deep breaths will help you think more clearly. ” “ If you want to really relax, try the exercise on pages 15–16. You need to know all 5 steps. 42 STEP 5 Decide what to do. Once you’ve pulled yourself together, it’s time to figure out what to do about what’s making you mad. Doing something is important because it means you’re taking action. The trick is, don’t take a negative action, like hurting someone with your fists or your words. You want to make a good choice, not a bad one. When you make a good choice, you show your anger that YOU are the boss.
49 Sometimes, it seems weird to talk to someone you’re angry with. You might even feel that it would be easier to fight, or freeze the person out, or slink away. But doing those things won’t solve a problem. Talking face-to-face is a better way to handle the situation. ” I-messages are especially helpful when you’re angry with someone else. They let you talk about how you feel—without blaming. Maybe inside you’d like to blame the other person. But doing so can make that person want to argue or fight back.
40 STEP 4 Cage your rage. Anger is a strong emotion. But YOU are stronger. You have a choice about how to handle yourself. It takes a strong person to make the right choice. You can do it! If you start to feel angry, don’t lash out. Instead, walk away from whoever or whatever is making you mad, if this is possible. ” If you’re mad at a friend, you can say the same things. Or, you could just say you need to take a break for a moment. Head to the nearest bathroom and splash your face with cool water.